I live in a doll’s house. A place with thin walls and plastic ghosts frozen on fake cushions. Mirrors reflect nothing but in that nothing, they reflect everything. See, that’s the funny part. The lifeless eyes of the dolls inside are pried open by understanding – they have seen the face of Life and so have become lifeless. They have breathed and so have become breathless. They have moved and so have become frozen. Frozen in infinity, where nothing moves and all is alive. I live in a doll’s house, and this is my happy family.
There’s mommy and daddy, the spider and the ape, who live in my domicile. Daddy was walking through the corridors, all pastel and bright. Until he found a little spider and to his delight, she let him scoop her up and guide her through night. When he finished his walk to the end of the hall, the spider whispered the greatest secret of them all “Night is around you when in my arms. I require no assistance to travel these halls. I cry on the shoulders of the dark.” The ape was confused. He knew she needed him – why else would she stand in the corner accompanied by tears? “But you were afraid, and I who has no fear came to guide you through this maze of ink.” Said the ape. “You are small, like a thread connecting my web to the jam of a door. I will show you the center of the web so that you may know just how frail I am.” And the ape was shown the silk highways stretching far into the ether. He was shown all the paths that lay before him and all the ways he’s been trapped. The ape froze in terror there in the center of the web and he looked at the spider, the Queen of the Universe, and he kissed her.
“I’ve found you again.” Said the spider. “Now give me your fingers, lest your body becomes mush too soon.” And the ape put all his limbs into the air so the spider might use them for wondrous things.
The spider ate the fly, this we know too well – but what of the ape?
The ape widened himself, placing a hand in the four corners of his world. He became the world so that the spider might save her silk. He was Atlas and Gaia, simultaneously holding the world up and becoming it. His mountains would hold the sky.
The spider thanked him by bringing him food – his diet depending on her own. The ape ate flies and mice until the spider came to him one day and asked him “Are you happy here as my world, whose mountains hold up my sky?”
“I am what you say I am.”
“Then you are mine forever.”
“As I have always been.”
And the spider covered the ape in a cocoon and imbibed him. His strength, his power, his fury and his might, all turned to thick liquid and absorbed by the spider.
The two were married and of marriage is borne children.
Through the windows of my doll house, there is a sky painted white with woven threads. The curvature of my world told by the slope of the web in which it is housed. The stars never move and the endless serpents of silk push through the black dirt in exactly the same paths as they ever have.
Oh the sky is a liar! It promises freedom and rewards soaring madness. “Look at me! Look at me! I am full of splendor and joy!” It says. But when you look, it becomes as empty as your head.
“Made you look! Made you look!” It says as a gaseous grin tears it in half.
The spider, my mother sarcophagi, descends on a string made of light “One day, my little child, I will eat you just as I have eaten your father. And one day, when a scornful babe walks through your universe, I will ride upon its shoulders to a whole new house for dolls, just like you.” Said the spider as she crawled behind the moon.